Lucidia Lohman

Almost 26 Weeks! Wow!

It’s really dark in here, so I can’t see well enough to type that great. I’ll give you an update anyway.

This week I just learned I have the ability to do three things: (1) open and close my eyes, (2) kick Mom until she pees herself, and (3) convince Dad through kicking Mom that it’s a good idea to give me Whoppers when I request one. In other words, don’t make your kid wait for French fries and cheeseburgers. Especially burgers with mayo. Mmmmmm.

I’m onto something new this week. I love sugar. I mean I can’t get enough of it. I love bouncing off The Uterine Walls of Glory after a good dose of sugar. I do somersaults and dance a lot when I get that sweet stuff. I know Mom was giving that to me when I was really young—like 4 weeks’ gestated or something—but she didn’t realize it. Since she found out about me, she’s really lowered her sugar intake, so any sugar I get is a real cool treat. And now I realized I can make her crave it. A few days ago I convinced her to give me Airheads. These are cool. My favorite flavor is red. (more…)

Lucidia’s First Dispatch

You are probably wondering why you haven’t heard from me yet. Well, aside from the fact that I just recently developed movable fingers and an auditory system that works in order to acquire and develop language, let’s face it—it’s damn near impossible to get wi-fi in utero.

Well, it appears my earthly guardians—that lady at the end of the feeding tube (she always says her name is “Mom”) and the guy she always hangs out with (she calls him lots of different names, but a three-letter one I hear often with “Mom” has been “Dad”) have decided upon the name Lucidia Rose Lohman for me. (more…)