Lucidia Lohman

30 is a BIG number

Apparently, being almost 30 weeks’ gestated is a “big deal” in my household. I’m not sure why.

First, Mom is starting to get restless. She pees all the time. I don’t know why, but she keeps blaming me. Then she keeps taking me in to see “the nursery.” Lady, I can’t see anything. I have no idea why you insist on telling me you’re lifting a shirt off of your belly so I can “see” something. I can’t see anything. Yes, while it’s true I can open and close my eyes, the best I can see is really dim red light, sort of like if you stare at the sun with your eyes closed. Get the point? I can’t see anything. All this talk of froggies and duckies… I get it. They’re super cute, just like me, but I can’t see them yet.

Second, we’re getting lots of packages. I can’t believe how much stuff I’m getting, and I’m not even born yet! Mom said she got free diapers. She said she took pictures. I’m sure she’ll post them soon. Something like six months of free diapers. I have no idea. Must be a conspiracy thing.

Dad is even getting anxious. He’s reading all these books—Husband-Coached Childbirth, some guide about better birthing, talking about “birth plans” (I do plan to be born, you know, so what more do you want?)—and he’s going around the house “baby-proofing” stuff. (Don’t tell Dad I know, but the other night when I was supposed to be sleeping, he rolled over and his head hit Mom’s belly. He said “Oh hi!” gave me a kiss on Mom’s belly, and started snoring again. Yeah, I totally have this guy wrapped around my little finger. Pretty soon he’ll be buying me a car. By the way, my fingernails are finished growing this week!)

Last week Pop Pop and Ba Ba were here, and while Ba Ba and Mom went through Mom’s old baby books and looked at some really cute clothing Ba Ba bought for me, Dad and Pop Pop were fixing stuff in the house, like the front door, the sliding door, and the awning. Pop Pop even bought Dad a leaf blower and a power washer! How cool! I can’t wait to play with that stuff! I wanna power wash the cats! But all that noise and work drove Mom crazy! Ha! I like when she gets crazy. She eats more.

They all came down to celebrate Mom’s birthday. I had so much cake! I love chocolate.

Then Mom went to Kentucky for work. We hated it there. Mom said that all there was to do in that state had to do with horses, creationism, and golfing. I like horsies. Hey, why don’t I have horsies in my “nursery”? But what’s creationism? Mom! Don’t roll your eyes like that. They’ll stay that way.

Mom got back from Kentucky and complained to Dad about her big feet and cankles some more. Then she started eating less sodium, and she hasn’t had a problem since. I like salt, though. I love salt & vinegar chips. Maybe I need to initiate another craving.

Then the unthinkable happened. I didn’t get sugar for 3 whole days! I thought I was going to die. Mom had horrific headaches, nausea, and some poo poo problems. Apparently, Mom screened positive for some sort of sugar problem, so we had to go to a laboratory yesterday and sit there for three hours. After those three days of no sugar, I got juiced with something Mom called “glucose.” Then she had her blood removed, like, 4 times! Anyway, the test came back negative, so we went home and ate a heaping helping of French toast—with extra syrup. Boy, I felt good! I got the hiccups, though, which happens a lot when Mom eats too fast, but it was worth it. I love sugar.

Oh, I almost forgot! Uncle Dave and Aunt Claire from Korea are getting married this Friday! My Granny and Grandpa Shithead (Haha! That’s a potty word, Gramps.) are flying to Korea with Uncle Malachi and Uncle James. They get to go around the world, attend a wedding, and party in another country where the people don’t even speak English! Can you imagine? I can’t wait to go to weddings. I can’t wait until I get married!

Congratulations Uncle Dave and Aunt Claire from Korea! I know Mom and Dad want to be there, but because I’m here, they need to stay put. Mom could barely put up with flying to Kentucky. I don’t know how close Kentucky is to Korea, but I have a feeling Mom wouldn’t do too well. Does Korea have creationism? What kind of horsies are over in Korea? Do you golf? Do they have cankles in Korea? What about cake?

Anyway, I’m getting hungry. I’m going to end this and kick Mom in the bladder so she knows it’s time for lunch. I’m thinking salt & vinegar chips, a BLT, and a piece of cake! I love cake! Oh, and don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll be back. Mom is taking loads of pictures. Check out her latest belly pics. She’s huge!

1. Uncle Malachi @ 8:48 pm
   on October 3rd, 2008
   D’awww how cute.

   Yes tere is golf in Korea, yes, there is cake, but it is really chewy, there are not many fat people in Korea, but yes, there are cankles, and i’m sure there are SOME horsies somewhere in Korea…but i havn’t seen any in Seoul.

   you and your antics lulu…..can’t wait ’till you’re bornn!! happy 30th week gestation day! C:
2. Uncle Dave @ 2:46 am
   on October 21st, 2008
   Hi There Lulu!

   Lo’ and behold it is your Uncle Dave writing from the other side of the planet (just wait, if you think your mom’s belly is big, you’ll be in for a surprise once you come out!). I tried signing up on here before, but I think there were some technical difficulties.

   Your Aunt Claire (actually, its Aunt 혜영, but Aunt Claire is easier to remember) and I got married, and had a blast showing your Uncles and Grandparents around Seoul. However, we couldn’t have nearly as much fun as possible, as you, your mommy and daddy were still in America. Once you finally vacate your mom’s tummy, you all have an open invitation to stop by. I know you’ll like seeing the Korean horsies, though there aren’t many. They have golf and certainly have creationism, though I don’t think its as rampant as in America (where you’ll be living).

   We both look forward to your arrival, and we will try our hardest to make a stop over in the US as well, after you come out. Expect many presents and lots of love!

   PS. We’ve already sent a gift or two along with Granny. Once you come out, there will be many more that you can play with! Until then, stay warm, eat lots of sugar (once you get older, you won’t be allowed to eat as much), and try not to kick mom SO hard in the bladder, so often.

   Til then,

   Lots of love!

   Uncle Dave (and Aunt Claire (Aunt Hye-young, pronounced Hey- Young))

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