Lucidia Lohman

I’m Over 34 Weeks Old!

I can’t believe this. How nuts is that?

Mom said it’s a very good thing. Apparently, at 34-weeks gestation, if I was born now, I’d be just fine. I’d probably spend a few extra days in the hospital, but otherwise, I’d be fine. Mom said I need to stay here, though, because my lungs need to mature a bit, and I’m still working on getting fatter. Hey, Mom! Meatloaf!

I can’t move in here at all. I can slide, punch, and kick, but that’s about all I can do. I’m already head-down, and I can’t see a thing unless I strain really hard. Then I can see some light. I’m opening and closing my eyes, just like a newborn, and sometimes Mom and I play hide-and-seek. Well, more like poke-and-prod.

Oh! I voted today! Well, I didn’t really vote, Mom did. She put the sticker on her belly, though. People were commenting at the Starbucks we went to for free coffee—I love their coffee! I love kicking!—about how cute I am. Of course I’m cute, but how do you people know that? You can’t see me unless you get one of those ultrasound thingies, and I didn’t see any of those at Starbucks.

Mom talked to me about the importance of voting and how vital it is in this day and age for every voice to be heard, counted, and respected. I would have taken notes, but I couldn’t get my fetal laptop working, so I just listened intently. Politics kinda bores me, though, so I started thinking about horsies instead of pundits and mavericks and—

Ow. I just poked myself in the eye with my foot. It’s crowded in here!

I weigh over five pounds now, and Mom says she feels like she swallowed a pumpkin (and that she has over 5 pounds of water weight in her ankles). I’m not sure what a pumpkin is, but Mom and Dad carved them last weekend and handed out candy to people in costumes. That was weird. What is wrong with you humans? You dress up and go to strangers’ houses to get candy?

I heard Mom and Dad reminiscing later that night about how when they were children, they had awesome Halloweens, but their moms and dad would hide the candy and only give them a piece or two each day. That’s so lame! All I have to do is pull on this cord and Mom gets me a left-over Reese’s cup and some Butterfingers. Kids, get yourselves some cords.

Well, that’s all that’s going on here. Mom said she’ll be full-term (whatever that means) the week of Thanksgiving, and she’s hoping I come then. We’ll see, Mom. I’ll let you know.

Add your comment

Name * Mail (will not be published) * Web site