Lucidia Lohman

Almost 26 Weeks! Wow!

It’s really dark in here, so I can’t see well enough to type that great. I’ll give you an update anyway.

This week I just learned I have the ability to do three things: (1) open and close my eyes, (2) kick Mom until she pees herself, and (3) convince Dad through kicking Mom that it’s a good idea to give me Whoppers when I request one. In other words, don’t make your kid wait for French fries and cheeseburgers. Especially burgers with mayo. Mmmmmm.

I’m onto something new this week. I love sugar. I mean I can’t get enough of it. I love bouncing off The Uterine Walls of Glory after a good dose of sugar. I do somersaults and dance a lot when I get that sweet stuff. I know Mom was giving that to me when I was really young—like 4 weeks’ gestated or something—but she didn’t realize it. Since she found out about me, she’s really lowered her sugar intake, so any sugar I get is a real cool treat. And now I realized I can make her crave it. A few days ago I convinced her to give me Airheads. These are cool. My favorite flavor is red.

So I’m officially two pounds now, and Mom says she’s rounding out nicely. I think she said her ankles and fingers still get swollen, but only when she eats salt. Too bad, lady. You gotta put something on those French fries before the Ranch dressing hits them. Get Dad to rub your feet. You deserve it.

And Mom and Dad told me we’re going for another “ultrasound” (whatever that is) on Monday. That’ll be cool. I think I remember the last one, but I was only 20 weeks old then. That’s so long ago! I think last time I actually gave Mom and Dad a wave. Had to give back, you know. They do so much for me. Maybe this time they’ll catch me doing somersaults.

Oh, and I also learned where Mom’s rib cage and diaphragm are. That’s cool. I like putting my head in her diaphragm. She breathes all funny and has to keep shifting positions when she’s sitting, or she’ll have to stop from time to time when she’s walking. Less walking, more French fries. That’s my motto.

Oh! And one more thing before I go. I heard it through The Umbilical Vine that my Ba Ba and Pop Pop bought me nursery furniture! You guys are so cool. Unfortunately, it’s all-wood furniture, and last I checked, there’s no French fry dispenser. What’s up with that, Pop Pop? Where will my French fries go?

And the bedding came in, and Mom and Dad said it has cute duckies and froggies on it. Thanks, Ba Ba and Pop Pop! I love duckies and froggies!

Oh, and thanks for all your notes, especially you, Grandpa Shithead. You taught me a new word! Wheeeee!

1. uncle malachi @ 7:47 am
   on September 8th, 2008
   Hi Lulu!

   how are you doing these days? i’m sure you arealready driving mom and dad mad.

   well one of these days when we come and visit (and you are old enough) i will bring you some red airheads.

   enjoy your stay in utero.
   i have to go back to class.

   Bu-bai!

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